Volume 65 December 2026-January 2026 : Reality Hub

Mr/Mrs “Right” o kae…..? Yep.  I thought adding a touch of the vernacular this time around will add a bit of emphasis and possibly roll off the tongue much better! Well fellow reality hub readers this is a question slot of men and women ask themselves every day.

Playing with dolls and mud or with cars and machine guns during playtime at the childhood stage builds up individuals…. these individuals will someday become men and women of varying characters and personalities. Then time ticks away so fast and some things start to matter like getting a good job, starting families and tying the knot and then one realizes that a lot of his/her friends have advanced in all these stages and he/she is still pondering on the question: Mr/Mrs Right o kae?

One thing I learned in my journey of waiting for the right partner is to work hard in building yourself up spiritually, emotionally and financially. You do not want to get into a relationships hoping for the other person to ‘help` as opposed to it being a fruitful and genuine relationship. It is a sad reality that a lot of people nowadays look to relationships for emotional, physical and spiritual comfort, or economical gain and this steals away at the essence of relationships as a whole.

Relationships aren`t a place where you take-take-take! , it`s a place where two people should ‘share-share-share`. You have to give of yourself, and yes acquire something in return, but the whole essence isn`t in what you stand to benefit, but rather what you can do for the other person in loving them. When I say giving of yourself, I mean making sure that the quality of what you stand to offer in a relationship is worth it. 

I`m not talking about monetary offering; I`m talking about your heart, your mind, your spirit being in the right place. Deal with personal issues and sort them out at an individual level first before you get into a relationship, don`t carry weight and baggage with you when you start a relationship that is a wrong foundation to build upon, rather allow yourself to be refined, transformed for the other person. In essence you allow yourself to become the right person for the right person.

I learned from a relationship conference I attended at church that a lot of marriages and relationships crumble because they are set upon the wrong foundation, its mostly what people prioritize and selfish motive at other times….it`s also that people do not allow themselves to become the right person in order to attract the right person. Not to say there are wrong people out there…

Just that you may end up attracting people who do not in any way complement you and so because the old clock threatens to chime you throw in the towel and just settle for the next Jack or Jill who will get you wearing a tux or a white dress and a joyful celebration. But sadly because of that rocky foundation the relationship is set upon, after the wedding is the brutal realities of a dreadful marriage.

Waiting to meet Mr/Mrs Right is not a walk in the park…there will be challenges, you will have doubts about yourself, you will question whether God hears your prayers, you will go into the grocery store and see couples pushing food trolleys with their kids in pajamas` doing last minute grocery shopping, and you will get a slight nudge. You will get that sensual feeling once in a while that may evoke a need for intimacy.

But I tell you the joy of preserving yourself for the right person is and will be a beautiful consequence. Giving yourself emotionally and physically, spiritually and in every other way to random Mr/Mrs Right lookalikes once in a while just to quench the thirst of loneliness is not okay! It will only leave you empty and hopeless.

While you wait for the right person, remember in all you do, the bible says in Songs of Solomon 8:4 “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” so stop putting yourself in situations that will only leave you empty of broken emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In case you are wondering, I`m not a relationship expert, nor am I even trying to become Mrs. I-Have –It-All-Figured-Out, You and I are both have had our own separate encounters and journeys and we have different ways of looking at things.

I may not understand what situation you find yourself in, all I can say God intended for relationships to be beautiful and fruitful. We have marred the essence of relationships with self-centeredness, greed and jealousy. The core values of love, relationships and marriage seem to ebb away with impatience that breeds in the hearts of men and women.

Mr right may not come in the Mercedes Benz you wish him to come in, he might come riding a donkey cart, and Mrs. right may appear on the cover of the magazine. In our pursuit of we need to stop dwelling on things that do not and should not matter and stop giving them top priority. In your effort to find Mr/Mrs Right, please look at your worth and what you deserve, remember it`s only the best.

There will be people who try to take advantage. You will have people who seek their own. Don`t tear away at your worthiness with people who only drain you by taking and taking some more If Mr/Mrs Right brings out the best in you and, and you don`t need to change for them, then maybe there`s something there, but guard your heart. You don`t need to settle for second best, if someone has commitment issues you can`t change them, don`t even try, and don`t wait in line for you to become their Mrs/Mr. Right.

In answering the question; Mr/Mrs Right is right there in your heart! Become that person and you will attract that person. It`s not magic, its logic! Those who think their old-clocks are ticking too fast and wonder if the author of time has forgotten them, when He got Adams rib and formed a woman…just hang in there...GOD SEES!

Tradition also lays a heavy burden of tying the knot on men and women who too are oblivious to what the future holds for them….be strong in prayer and faith. With everything said I leave you with this: “Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for? - Andy Stanley. Ends

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