Volume 65 December 2026-January 2026 : Reality Hub

“I am Sorry…”

By Otshidile Onkabetse

How many ‘I`m sorry-ies`` have you heard in your lifetime, how many have you uttered? …Genuinely or casually? If they were all put into a bag, how heavy would yours be? Would it contain ‘I`m sorry-ies`` that other people said to you or the ones that you said to people? Does the number of sorry-ies you`ve uttered reveal shortcomings on your part, with regards to you consistently hurting people? Or does it just mean you are only human, and express remorse after doing or saying something that you later regret?

“I`m sorry I stepped on your toe; I`m sorry I drank your juice; and I`m Sorry I don`t love you anymore? The list is endless. We all hurt people and we all get hurt. Sadly some people continue to hurt others and cover up with an apology only to do the same thing over and over again. Some people don`t apologize at all despite being in the wrong, pride usually gets a hold of them and even though they constantly hurt people, yet an apology is the least of their concerns. Where do you fall? Think about it. This is crucial.

These three words bear so much power to heal, to mend, and on the contrary to break, to put salt on an already foul wound especially if said in a manner that expresses no remorse. To some it`s an old song that keeps playing on the radio, to some its soft music on a Sunday afternoon. The impact of an apology will depend on how it is said and how genuine it is.

I`m often quick to admit I was wrong, but I must confess there are days when my pride gets in the way and somehow my heart feels justified to having said or done what I did. I hurt people, my tongue slips and I say things sometimes, and it happens to the best of us. We make promises we can`t keep, we pretend to love when we don`t, we deliberately and intentionally poke fun at people`s insecurities, and we steal from people, both the tangible things and the intangible or deepest things hidden in the heart. And upon realization that we are in the wrong, we say ‘sorry`

I dare to throw a question at you. Do you care enough for people? Do you genuinely care, not just a guilty conscious or a feeling of remorse when you have done something wrong. In the deepest part of your heart is there a sense of love that allows you to look at a friend, a stranger, a colleague, and enemies, who are equally as human as you and not want to hurt them no matter what? Do you feel the need to treasure the fragility of their heart? Do you strive to protect them from any kind of harm that you could possibly inflict with your actions or words? do you allow yourself to have a deeper consciousness and understanding of the golden rule of ‘doing onto to others what you want them to do onto you` If in the deepest part of us lays the deepest yearning to be perfect, to be tactful, to be loving, to be selfless, we would walk around with empty bags, not filled to the brim with ‘sorry-ies` that we utter to other people. This is not because we are not apologetic, no! But rather it would mean we try hard to not hurt people hence we won`t need to apologize. But in the event that we do hurt people we don`t think twice, we apologize immediately. We are not perfect, we are human, but one thing we tend to forget is that God has given us freewill…and that affords us the capacity to make a decision in a split second that can make or break the next person…From the smallest thing to the biggest. I always believe there`s always a moment of sanity that presents itself amidst a moment of temporary insanity caused by overwhelming emotions of any kind….at time where we can chose to take the wise route or the unwise route.

If you are going to be unfaithful in a relationship, or to betray the trust of a loved one in any way, you make that conscious decision to do something being aware of the impacts. in that instance you make a deliberate choice because whatever temptation you may be feeling at that point in time, your conscious will always give a nudge and trigger your ability to make a wise choice. So you then have that choice before you take action or not to, but you chose to go ahead right?  It`s the same, when you kill, when you steal, when you say words to people in anger, when you hit someone, when you act out any form of rage boiling up inside of you.

No one is perfect; everyone has the ability to make a mistake, and to hurt others as well as being hurt by the next person. Its okay to come back to someone and apologize when you are in the wrong…But it`s when an ‘I`m sorry ‘starts to lose value that one should realize that they are turning cold and selfish. I`m going to be as frank as I can reader, you have no right to paint someone else`s heart with sorry-ies`` you have no right! Think about it for a moment if all you`ve done is hurt people, only you can change it. You can become a better person, its starts with retrospection, it starts with you appreciating and understanding someone else`s worth as equally as yours, not in any way less significant to yours.

I implore you to think about what you do before you do it. If you feel you don`t have time to consider someone else`s feelings even for a moment before you take any form of action, then you are very selfish. The bible highlights the importance of having a contrite spirit, and how God loves that, but he doesn`t take too kindly to a proud heart. there`s something about a genuine ‘I`m sorry` when you are in the wrong that not only fills your heart with perfect peace, but  allows a deep and rich fountain of love to flow in excess to fill you up and extend to the next person. Love grows and flourishes in places where remorse is expressed. Let love lead you and guide you into being a better person. Learn to take responsibility when you have hurt someone. It`s never too late to admit that you were wrong. For as long as God has given you life, you still have the chance to make right your wrongs. Don`t put till tomorrow what you can do today. Say I`m sorry to those who you have hurt, and forgive those who have hurt you even if they don`t say ‘I`m sorry`.

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