Volume 65 December 2026-January 2026 : Reality Hub

Unfortunately so often we don`t control how we feel. We can only chose to respond in a certain way and ask for the Grace to un-feel certain feelings which we know dishonour God and which just leave our hearts heavy with ugly emotions such as anger, greed and bitterness.

Sometimes we love and aren`t loved back the same. We realise that we put in too much effort into loving people who we shouldn`t …those that hurt, bruise, crush and abuse the love we unconditionally extend to them.

It is not necessarily wrong to love a person but what is wrong is allowing that person to take away the very essence of the love you hold in your heart by their selfishness and lack of sensitivity. Loving is wrong when you give of yourself in a relationship and your love is not reciprocated, for many reasons.

It is wrong to invest so much in someone who doesn`t care about you; it should be a two way thing.  Loving is wrong when you give of yourself in a relationship yet, the same love is thrown back in your face. It is wrong to continue in a relationship when your love is taken for granted and abused.

You deserve love, nothing less. And everything that comes in the name of love yet causes you heartache and pain is not love and therefore that loving is wrong. So often men and women stay in relationships with people who abuse them emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, mentally and physically, or take advantage of them sexually, and in so many other ways, and because they have never experienced better they have no hope for the best which they feel is only a fantasy or dream.

So they just settle for a facade of love and conclude that what they have may be mediocre but that it is better than nothing. Let me tell you something, and listen hard!

You deserve only the best! Do you hear me? …. If that man or woman doesn`t see it, they do not deserve you. Period! Your heart can only sustain love, it was made that way…it was made to love and to beloved back the same.

Do not deny it of love and fill it up with bits and pieces of what ‘could` be love or what ‘may look` like love. If you allow your heart to receive anything short of love it breaks apart, and eventually hardens…and then your joy and happiness leak and dry up.

Instances where love is taken for granted and not returned, or even abused are almost infinite… I could write a book. It is wrong to find love in man/woman`s heart that already belongs to someone else. As hard as it is, either you pray for a change or move on.

Don`t decide or agree to be the ‘other person`. So many people fall for that in the hope that one day that person will chose him/ her. It`s not going to happen. Don`t sell yourself short.

Your love is too precious to be shared with one who will only give you half of his/her love. Stop settling for less just because you are afraid that this is as far as you can go in as far as being loved by the next person is concerned.

Or that the little you are getting is better than nothing. Some people take lightly the idea of dating married people, or dating someone who has another relationship. They feel they can be the second person and don`t mind so long as they enjoy the privileges of that flexible relationship.

That is wrong! How dare you be inconsiderate to the next person? Think hard for a moment about his ….you man and woman who allow your heart to be deceived in such a manner, what about the other person? Do you only think about your happiness first?  Do you ever stop to think about the other person? How they would feel if it were you?

Have you no shred of emotion or at least tried to imagine if the tables were reversed and you were the one being cheated on? Love should not come in pieces, it was never meant to be….it should be the whole package, and if someone can`t give you their whole heart, don`t take a quarter or half. You are worth more than that. Come on!

Sometimes loving is wrong when you love someone who doesn`t love you back. I`m tempted to sing the lyrics: ‘have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry…` an old time favourite by Brandy, used to sing along with those lyrics as a child and at one point in young adult life the words somehow rang true. Should there be a pain in loving someone?

Can loving someone be wrong at any level? Arguably I`d say ‘yes` because sometimes our love is misplaced. Bear in mind that I`m not talking about loving a family member, or a friend or stranger…In that instance you have to love, you are obligated to love your family, friends and neighbour.

I`m referring to the Eros, Philio and Agape Love, wrapped up together in a package in your heart which you give away to someone of the opposite sex. Sometimes we place our hearts in the wrong shelve. It`s like a post man, who puts mail into a wrong mail box.

You can`t make someone love you, and if they don`t, then you shouldn`t force things. You deserve so much more. That loving is clearly wrong, so move on and open your heart to someone else who does love you.

Everyone is deserving of love, no matter how seemingly undeserving you may deem the next person. We all require love in all its fullness. The love that Jesus showed on the cross and when He wept upon seeing the multitudes, now that`s the love that we so require to have and to share.

That is the love we are made of and should, therefore, seek to uphold.  Love is not selfish or unkind. It doesn`t seek its own and love is everything that god made it to be. He is love.

Let us love the same and seek to be loved the same because we deserve it. Nothing less…don`t settle, if you settle for anything less than Gods love, then that loving is wrong. Ends

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