Volume 52 Issue 7 - July 2014 : Career Corner

“Sure, I`d love to head up this year`s fundraising committee”….. “I am working on my assignment, but let me quickly help you first since you are in a rush and will finish mine later”…. Saying ‘yes` to request when you should have said ‘no` instead. How many times have you reluctantly said “Yes” to something you had been asked to do and then later on regret or feel bad when you become aware that simply declining would have saved you so much stress? 

It can be difficult at times to say ‘No` especially if you enjoy helping others, putting other`s needs and desires before your own. 

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel guilty if you do not help others (may it be family, friends or colleagues) even though doing so will greatly inconvenience you? As much as saying “No” to someone might seem like a bad thing and result in you being the least favourite person for that particular individual, declining others` requests might save you from having to end up telling lies when you are not able to deliver the promise or from other frustrations.

One is in a better position when they put their needs first, helping others when genuinely feeling like they can and want to. Honesty is the best policy. Be true to yourself. 

If you can help someone that is great, if you can`t still that is fine. It is ok to say “No” but it also depends on how you say it so that the person being told ‘no` does not take it too personal and ill-treat you going forward. It helps to give a reason as to why you are saying “No”. 

For example, recognise the feelings and needs of the person you are responding to (I am sorry you are caught in between organising the fundraising dinner and other assignments), then declare your own needs (Unfortunately, I wont be able to assist you as I have other commitments).

 Lastly, propose a solution to help resolve the situation (“Have you tried asking Lorato to help with the fundraising activities?”) As much as you are not able to help, at least you are giving options on how to assist the person get help elsewhere without compromising your own engagements. Hopefully, this is a win-win situation. If the person is persistent in asking trying to make you give in or feel guilty, repeat your position gently but firmly with patience. 

If it also happens that you cannot offer a solution to the problem after asserting your needs, just end it off by saying you hope they get the problem sorted out but remember to say so in a compassionate way.  How you communicate, that is your tone of voice, is very important so make sure you are calm and friendly. 

At times it might happen that you are caught unprepared with an answer. If you are not sure how to respond to a request, better acknowledge the request and tell the person that you will get back to them at a later stage. 

That way you have time to think about your commitments without the pressure of being put on the spot. It is important that one knows their priorities and what they can and cannot do for others. Remember, it is ok to say ‘No` if you are not able to help, do not feel guilty. ENDS

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