When Love Hurts

Source : Kutlwano

Author : Mothusi Soloko

Location : Gaborone

Event : Interview

Article: Mothusi Soloko

Photos: Gothusang Lesego

In other words, their celebrity status masks everything such that when they cry it does not sound any alarm bells. This is because and twisting Wilde`s observation further, “they mask their [battered egos] with their [glittering costumes], and whisper about what they call the profligacies of their betters in order to try and pretend that they are in smart society , and on intimate terms with the people they [love]”.

Consequently, seldom do we hear of celebrities coming out to acknowledge they are victims of women abuse, save for a few like the Barbados born Rihanna or Tina Turner whose What`s love got to do with it piece and movie were inspired by the abuse her husband subject her to. Locally and as we celebrate mothers` day this month, celebrated jazz icon, Nono Siile, has come out in the open to acknowledge she has also been a victim of woman abuse.

“I know there are a lot of women out there who know the taste of pain that I am going through, and I appeal to them to come out so that we join hands and talk about these atrocities committed against us in the name of love,” says Nono whose love affair recently went sour and subsequently lost everything in a suspected case of arson when her Kgale View house was gutted by fire.

Notwithstanding the ordeal, Nono would later appear on the doorway of my office radiating beauty and as elegant as a high flyer. Her hairstyle somewhat telling a story, “that I`m strong than before and my past is behind me and I face my future with confidence”.

You could have never in anyway mistaken her for someone who just emerged from a terrible ordeal. With her was her long-time friend, Sebaga, offering support and perhaps filling in details of scenes too painful for Nono to talk about.

“I will never love again,” she says with her arms wrapped around her tiny body as if longing for a warm hug or pronouncing loneliness.  This is not the first time Nono has been heartbroken in the name of love, forcing her to think twice about relationships. She bears emotional scars from her several encounters with men. Some time back, 10 years ago to be precise, she casually attended a wedding only to get a shock of her life when she discovered that the groom was the father of her son. Her heart skipped a beat.

She was very young by then and for some time she had to endure the pain that almost amounted to agony which eventually landed her on a sick bed.  She was the laughing stock of the town, the consciousness of stares and gossip soon clouded her mind. She spent the next two months in solitude in a hide-out in Kumakwane.

“I just wanted to escape somewhere because I was overwhelmed by the grim thought that one day I would see them hand in hand, so I went to hide in Kumakwane,” recalls Nono. That was the first instance men stained her youthful dreams of fantasy and in some way corrupted her soul.  Finding her house on fire, neighbours wailing and screaming last month, was too much to bear. And Nono keeps on prodding herself if horrors of her past have come back to haunt her once again.

As young mother, she says it will take a miracle and a half for her to love again. She has suffered enough at the hands of men and tells Kutlwano that she cannot trust men anymore. “Men are all the same, they are selfish, self –centred and controlling and they think their way is the only right way,” she posits with a tone full of disgust.

She lost almost everything in the fire particularly her stage costumes including her favourite jewellery.  “I have been left with nothing but what I grief for the most is my stage attire including jewellery,” bemoans Nono.

Somehow she feels compelled to project herself as a symbol of what women have to endure on daily basis in the name of love. However, as she endures the pangs of her painful relationships, she says her strength comes from her 15-year old boy who is already a star in one of the national youth soccer teams. Nono is well aware that in the common world of fact the wicked are not punished, nor the good rewarded. That success is given to the strong and failure thrust upon the weak. ENDS

Teaser:

Stories of women abuse abound but seldom do we hear of celebrities or prominent people coming out to acknowledge they are victims as well. To twist Oscar Wilde`s observation in his book The Picture of Dorian Gray “beautiful [tears], like beautiful things, are the privilege of [celebrities]”.