Kutlwano Magazine

Change is within

Source : Kutlwano

Author : Calvinah Kgautlhe

Location : Serowe

Event : Interview

Article: Calviniah Kgautlhe

Photos: Phenyo Moalosi

“Bang! Bang! Clink! That was the end of my freedom. An emotionless prison warder clicked home the padlock to my cell, a stern poise about him. And for the very first time in my life, a stream of tears rolled down my face. I wiped and wiped as the rivulet from my face soaked my hands with salty unpleasantness. And my chest reflexively heaved as if gasping for breath. I sobbed uncontrollably for a very long time…” says 36-year old Mothei Sejakgomo of Serowe as he recounts his seven-year prison experience. He continues: Although there is proper lighting inside prison, like the emotional bottomless pit that it is, it felt dark and dreary inside. Prison had a strange and creepy smell- like something smelly and malevolent was in the air

I despised the smell but I had no choice but to acclimatise fast, and the thought that this would be my home for six years sent me bonkers. I was in hell.

I used to laugh it off when they told me about lice in prison. The insects are downright annoying. Initially I would fret about them but as my sentence matured, I got used to them to the extent their existence no longer bothered me.

The experience was a painful emotional stroke, and payback time for all the evil I had committed for years with impunity, which made me think I was smart.

Prison has the most unnatural atmosphere. In fact, the whole prison experience evoked a barrage of emotions of derision towards my persona in totality. I felt dismally hopeless wondering what kind of mould I was made of or the type of spirit that had taken control over my life. I had unashamedly crept into people`s homes, passionately embarked on daylight robbery and injured many victims in the process. I destroyed many people`s lives but now I am deeply ashamed of my evil deeds.

It all started at a young age while I was at junior secondary school, where due to peer pressure, we would steal what we could not afford. We became involved in shop lifting of clothing merchandise to impress our peers at school.

We were at the time, unbeknownst to us, succumbing to negative peer pressure, poor moral standing, selfishness, weak character strength and low self-esteem which could be factors contributing to the increase in a brood of criminals.

When one steals “o a tshwakgoga”- one would want to steal more and more and aim and steal bigger things. I gradually matured and went up the wrung to become a ruthless criminal. I now broke into shops, army camps, police camps,banks and homes.

Now these are not tasks for small boys. We did this as a highly organised, closely guarded criminal cartel which encompassed a covert market of buyers of our stolen goods.

Jobs of this sensitive nature can only be successful when carried out by mature, experienced, bold and trusted partners ba ba seng magatlapa.

A successful job is well planned and calculated; we gathered information and used manipulation tactics in the community.

In covering up for our activities in the dark world, we would hold day jobs so that no one would suspect anything. I was a leader on full paid employment at one of the firms in Serowe. That was Moremi had a moment or two to savour in Antarctica. just a cover up because I lived beyond my means. My criminal activities earned me more income than my job.

However, all the while I was not content with my criminal activities, although there was more money. I did not enjoy it because I did not earn it. I did not deserve it. I was leading a dangerous life full of fear. I was not free at all because I wronged other people and was afraid of being arrested.

In 1998, at the age of 21, I decided I was tired of criminal life and resolved to focus on my job to build myself a good life. Just when I thought I was free of my criminal self, the police came and arrested me while I chaired a meeting at work.

This greatly humiliated me. I was remanded at Selebi-Phikwe prison for 19 days and released after an attorney I had engaged saved my neck.

Upon my release, I resolved to quit completely but the temptation remained. One mistake I made was that I did not cut the communication chain with my former criminal associates who lured me back into criminal activities.

In 2002, at the age of 24, I was back in prison, this time I was slapped with a seven-year sentence. I was sad and frustrated.

The moment they shackled me, I felt myself reeling in emotional pain. My head spun as my parent`s words of counsel echoed a thousand times. I should have listened to my parent`s advice. I regretted having not done so.

A silly thought caused me to escape from prison to go and hide at the cattle-post. When I thought they would not be coming for me, I changed my ways and repented and went to one of the Christian churches. When I got there for the first time, a prophet prophesied about my situation.

However, just when the prophet was about to pray for me, CID suddenly appeared and arrested me. That was it. I served until 2006. Eight of my close relatives died while I was still serving my sentence, and when I left prison, everything and everybody was new to me. I had caused my mother High Blood pressure. In short, a chunk of my life had been hived away. It was then that it dawned on me that indeed what goes around ultimately comes around.

It is a law of nature that no man can change. And you must do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. I reaped of the bad seed I had sown - a salty unpleasantness. Just as it takes one to act on an idea, and decide to initiate themselves into crime, it takes the very same mind to steadfastly turn around and become an agent of change. I am now a reformed man, who has resolved to refrain from criminal activities.

In 2006 when I was released on remission, we broke into a car with the aim of hijacking it, but just when we were about to be caught by the police we sped off unscathed. Just then, I knew prison was smelling and I decided I did not want to go back in there again. I am now the chairperson of Botswana Institute of Rehabilitation and Reintegration of

[ex] Offenders where we advocate for reintegration of ex-prisoners back into society as well as educating society on the dangers of engaging in criminal activities.

I also run my own hair salon using my hands to plait and weave my life back in shape. ENDS