WEDDING RING: Does it really matter?

Source : Kutlwano

Author : Fionah Letsapa

Location : GABORONE

Event : Interview

It appears such women place a really high premium on a wedding ring. Conversely, men have this rather care-free attitude of treating it as just another piece of metal.

To men, it appears, a ring is just a ring. If anything, its value is just to symbolise a union of two people in marriage. Consequently, it is not uncommon to see some men not wearing a wedding band or ring and while reasons vary with each individual, a majority claim it is just a matter of choice.

However, traditionally a wedding ring or band embodies a married couple`s innermost feelings. With it, the couple vows to stay faithful and by each other`s side, come what may. Historically, married couples used either a cloth or strand that they tied around the fourth finger on the left hand to symbolise their union.

As time went by, the cloth or strand was replaced with a metallic ring. The idea being that the cloth or strand was not durable while metal is for eternity. Thus, the circular shape of the ring symbolises eternity hence couples declare “till death do us part!” when they exchange marriage vows. 

Besides, it also represents a gateway or door into a different life of marriage and with it couples display their inward bond. Gold or silver is used to make these rings with an assorted stone décor (diamond, ruby, and emerald). Society believes that the more expensive the ring the more the love one possesses.

Father Vitalis Moji Phakisi of Christ the King Cathedral Roman Catholic Church says under Catholic culture marriage is defined as a sacramental union. Thus, married couples wear rings as a symbol of Christ embedded within.

Why is the ring worn on the left finger? “The fourth finger in particularly is within the trinity of God which is recited starting with the thumb and the Amen landing on that particular finger,” explains Father Phakisi.

That notwithstanding, married men who do not wear their wedding rings say doing so is “no big deal” and most of them give varying reason for that. One of the excuses peddled by those who work in the mines is that the environment and attendant conditions do not allow one to wear anything metallic.

However, some men claim that after getting married they grow fat hence the ring would not fit. “Well, marriage is within my heart and the love I must show my wife has nothing to do with a ring. With or without it on, I feel the same,” maintains Elijah Molosiwa who has been married for five years now. He is of the view that wearing a ring is just one of those “luxuries” people do to make things seem right.

Tshepo Sefetane, who has been married for three years, says wearing a ring is a matter of choice between couples in that if they know where their love is, then there is no need to wear one. He argues that although it might hurt his wife, the fact that they signed a marriage certificate the latter has nothing to fear.

Women on the other hand seem to value and go to the extent of worshiping a wedding ring as a sacred symbol of love. “A husband who does not wear a ring shows that he does not respect me given we exchanged those rings before God and the congregation as a sign of our mutual love,” quips Kelebileone Letsomo, a widow who still wears her wedding ring of her past 12-year marriage.Ends

Teaser:

Most women love it and would readily raise their fingers in show off whenever an opportunity presents itself. Invariably, while jewellery is a woman`s thing, a wedding ring, it seems, is more than just a piece of jewellery to them.